Q&A With Sober Crew Social Club. Where Sober Doesn’t Have To Mean Boring

Superyacht Content spoke to Laura Kilbey, founder of Sober Crew Social Club. This was to learn more about her passion for creating a community for crew everywhere, where sober doesn’t have to mean boring. Read on to find out about Laura’s yachting career, why she founded SCSC, and where sober (and sober-curious) crew can find a space for yacht crew supporting yacht crew.

Tell us a bit about yourself and your career in the yachting industry.

So I joined yachting in 2006 as an eager junior (and sober funnily enough) stew. I had drunk prior to yachting but came in deciding I wouldn’t drink as it didn’t really agree with me. My first captain and crew were all heavy drinkers and so I absorbed that as normal despite not drinking myself at that time. I saw lots of drinking injuries take place, lots of questionable behaviour and decided that that would NEVER be me. And it wasn’t, until it was. I found myself a well-paid yachtie boyfriend who lavished Champagne on me in expensive bars in the South of France, and I was sold.

I decided I would only drink if it was worth it. I would only drink if it was good quality stuff, and I did – until I didn’t. I already had a small fear of drinking as I found that I often felt sober until all of a sudden I was walloped by the alcohol and seemed inexplicably hammered. It wasn’t something I liked and tried to keep a handle on that but it often wasn’t the case. I became a steady drinker throughout the years and found more and more that the control I was trying to desperately keep was slipping away.

That fear of not quite having a handle on it was increasing. Yet I couldn’t seem to stop and truly in my heart of hearts believed that ‘this time it would be different’ but it rarely was. That led to feelings of shame and spiraling self loathing, which was lessened by, of course, having a drink. And so the spiral continued!

In your experience, what is not spoken about enough in the world of yachting?

I tried many periods of sobriety whilst during my time in yachting, so I had a good idea of what worked and what didn’t. But it was only during my final attempt that I realised that the previous times had been me trying to prove that I could drink normally and accepting that actually I didn’t think I could. That this was to be a permanent decision was what made all the difference. I think that sobriety in yachting is still for the most part, a huge taboo. It is reserved for people who have a problem with drinking and who ‘cant handle their liquor.’

What isn’t discussed is that it has a direct link to all aspects of mental health before we even get started on physical injury. It is very hard for people to be openly sober without the risk of isolation from their crew and peer pressure, and that often comes from the top down. Crew bonding is encouraged over beers and drinking is the accepted way to de-stress.

Alcohol consumption is actively encouraged and yet simultaneously un-managed with crew being left their own devices and not having anywhere to turn should they experience problems or repercussions from their drinking. In fact, dismissal is often the knee jerk reaction and whilst yachting is full of responsible adults who don’t need babysitting, there is a lack of support or compassion once there’s the hint of an issue.

“sober or sober curious yacht crew can come together and eliminate that sense of isolation, find their people and know they always have someone to talk to.“

What inspired you to form SCSC?

Alongside keeping myself accountable in terms of my own sobriety, this was really the reason why I started SCSC. Any form of alcohol related issue, be it addiction or simply a case of dealing with shame of an one off incident leaves people feeling isolated in an industry which is already isolated. Crew are away from family, friends and on a floating home with a group of strangers – if something happens and you don’t have a solid network onboard or someone you can trust to talk to – where do you go?

If your way of dealing with stress or upset is to have a drink, chances are you’ll reach for one and the cycle continues. I wanted to create a space where people could go to to talk , share and offload their own issues that they’re dealing with in regards to alcohol with someone who gets it, has been there and will not judge you. In doing that, it creates a community where sober or sober curious yacht crew can come together and eliminate that sense of isolation, find their people and know they always have someone to talk to.

The foundations of Sober Crew Social Club is community, connection and support. They are all as valuable as each other and this couldn’t exist without the people who reach out.

What are your goals and aspirations for the future of this club, and for yachting as a whole?

My hope is that within the year that Sober Crew Social Club will be fully fledged with membership in place. This will allow anyone who joins access to online meetings, guest speakers, events, forums and most importantly a whole range of different groups so wherever you are in the world, whatever role you’re in, whatever stage of sobriety you might be in  – you can find your people.

I have events coming soon and I just can’t wait for people to connect and realise that sobriety in yachting does not mean you are boring! In fact we have more and more young crew coming into the industry who don’t drink, and I think in time the face of yachting and alcohol will shift. But it’s a slow process and one that needs encouragement in the meantime. 

“The foundations of SCSC is community, connection and support. They are all as valuable as each other and this couldn’t exist without the people who reach out.”

If you had something to say to anyone struggling with drinking, or someone who just doesn’t fancy booze as much, what would you say? 

My advice to anyone who is struggling is to reach out. Suffering in silence is the quickest way to deepen the problem and I assure you that if you have the courage to take the first step, you will find nothing but support and encouragement. Silence really is the killer and connection and community is the way out of this. you don’t have to feel alone – it’s probably my key message.

Alcohol makes you feel like you are the only person dealing with what’s going on for you and it’s simply untrue – there is support out there so please reach out and message. I am always available.

Where can crew find you?

You can find me for now primarily on Instagram on @sober_crew_social_ or you can send me an email to sobercrewsocialclub@gmail.com and I’ll get back to you. 

The more we talk about this, the more we normalise it, the better it is for crew and the industry as a whole. 

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